


breath of life

by gothamsharley



Series: Roisa Fic Week 2019 [3]
Category: Jane the Virgin (TV)
Genre: Don’t read if that will trigger you, F/F, Miscarriage, Pregnancy, Roisa Fic Week, Roisa Fic Week 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-11 17:43:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20157541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gothamsharley/pseuds/gothamsharley
Summary: When Luisa is heavily pregnant, she and Rose decide to have a deep discussion about what’s bothering them. Luisa is hurting from her previous miscarriage while Rose fears that she wont be a good enough mother.Roisa Fic Week Day 3 - Pregnancy AU





	breath of life

Luisa tossed and turned as much as she was able. To say getting comfy was difficult would have been the understatement of the year. She was eight months pregnant and tired of being sick and not being able to fit into any flattering clothing. 

Worst of all, it was impossible to get a decent night's sleep while her bump was large. Pulling the duvet over her, desperately needing some comfort despite how overheated it made her, she stared at her belly which protruded out under the blanket.

Rose had been a doting girlfriend throughout this time. A little grumpy and whiny at first, she had decided that she could put her own needs aside for Luisa's happiness. Even if that meant leaving the house at some ungodly hour to pick up a snack that Luisa had been particularly craving. Pushing the bedroom door open one-handed, she entered the room carrying a glass.

"One ice water with a slice of lemon for you, madam," she joked. Usually Luisa would have giggled at Rose's teasing but today her lips remained pressed together in a concerned line. Rose frowned. "Is something wrong? Did I mess up the drink?" Luisa looked up at her, appearing to finally register her presence.

"What? Oh no, it's fine. Just put it on the side please." 

"What's the matter Lu? You were dying for a drink a minute ago."

"Well I just don't feel thirsty anymore." It was a lie. She was pretty dehydrated but she suddenly needed to have a talk with Rose and didn't want it to be interrupted by her sipping water. Rose set the cup down and Luisa shuffled over as best as she could, patting the empty space next to her. "Okay...maybe there's something else." 

"I knew it." Rose carefully got into bed next to her and Luisa struggled to get into a more relaxing position. Unable to keep watching her struggle, Rose gently moved her so the top half of Luisa was laying against her chest. "There. I'll be your human pillow," she smiled. Luisa's face remained cloudy.

"I'm worried Rose. I'm going to hurt this baby."

"Lu-"

"I lost Mia. It could happen again." The tears were beginning to sting her eyes.

"That was different and you know it. We rushed it, we weren't prepared but we are now," Rose reassured her.

"I was too stressed and worried like I always am and I ruined our chance at having a daughter." 

"No you didn't." Rose continued to speak calmly, despite how much this was hurting her. "Anyway, now we've been given a second one. Miscarriages can happen for lots of reasons-"

"It was my fault and you know it!" Luisa snapped.

"Baby please. You need to stay calm." Rose's speech wavered as she cradled Luisa's face and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "We've been to plenty of checkups and she's perfectly healthy." A few more tears of pain fell from Luisa's eyes.

"I try not to get anxious about this but the harder I try, the worse it gets. I start overthinking and remembering what happened with Mia. I'm already a terrible mother," she sniffed.

"Don't you dare say that." Rose moved to gently kissing Luisa's cheeks. "You have such a kind and beautiful heart. I can't imagine anyone that would be better for the role," she whispered softly. "But you're not the only one who has fears about becoming a mother." Luisa looked up at her. 

"You've never really mentioned it before you. You've acted so...chill most of the time."

"Oh believe me, I'm not even close to having this all figured out. But I have to be strong for you angel. Both of my angels," she added, smiling down at Luisa's tummy.

"You should talk about it."

"Today's already been rough-"

"Please." Luisa's eyes were wide and pleading. "We've swept too many of our problems under the rug in the past and never addressed them. I don't want us to keep following the same toxic patterns. Talking about it will help." 

She twirled Rose's flaming hair around her finger. "Besides I need a distraction from thinking about the nausea that's coming and going." An added incentive. Rose breathed deeply and had a few false starts and stutters before allowing her concerns to pour out.

"You're the only person I've ever truly loved Luisa. The one person who I've let into my heart. What if I can't feel anything for baby Antonia when she's here?" Rose refused to let any tears form as she feared she wouldn't be able to stop if she started crying. Luisa wanted to hug her close in that moment but her movement was so limited that she could only nestle against her. 

"Babe." She chose to raise her hand instead and her thumb grazed Rose's lips. "It will be different when she's here."

"And what if it isn't?" Rose countered, her voice now a shaky mess. Luisa felt her body trembling beneath her.

"You are caring, protective and so damn clingy. I don't think you're gonna wanna let Antonia out of your arms once she's here." Rose choked out a half-laugh, half-sob. 

"Maybe you're right. I just don't want to be one of those cold, hands off mothers."

"Well you could get a head start." Luisa gestured to her belly. Rose groaned.

"Not this again." Luisa had tried to get Rose to talk to Antonia many times before and, every time, she'd felt too silly and gotten flustered and refused to do it for long. 

"Oh yes. And you should try it for more than five seconds this time." Rose was hesitant. "Come on, I do it so often that I'm sure she'd like a change. I bet she'd like to hear her other mommy's voice for once. Especially when its such a lovely one." Rose sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. 

"Are you really gonna make me do this?" Luisa pouted.

"I just want the two of you to bond." Rose knew she wasn't winning this battle. She carefully moved back the blanket and lifted Luisa's shirt. Her fingers moved carefully across the bump, tracing the stretch marks that were now present on Luisa's skin. Then they awkwardly shifted themselves once more so that Rose's face was closer to Luisa's tummy. 

"Hi Antonia," she began. Her stomach lurched with embarrassment and she shot Luisa a distressed look. Her girlfriend was not budging and the puppy eye stare remained on her face. Left with no choice, Rose focused on Antonia again. "I'm your other mommy, Rose. I'm really excited to meet you." Her eyes flicked back up at Luisa.

"More," Luisa mouthed. She wasn't letting up on Rose that easily.

"I know that your mommy Luisa usually speaks to you. She's the one carrying you which means-" Rose paused as she imagined their baby girl having features of Luisa's, those big chocolate eyes or her precious smile or maybe both. Her mouth curled up at the corners. "It means you're hopefully going to turn out just like her. Because she's the most amazing woman I know." Luisa's heart melted at seeing Rose finally getting the hang of it. She kept going.

"And I swear, just like I do for your mother, I'll protect you and give you all the cuddles and kisses and affection that you'll ever need. I'll make sure you'll grow up in a happy and loving household. You're going to have such a fun childhood." She smiled as she thought about all the memories they would make together as a family. "And I love you, Antonia Clara Alver."

**Author's Note:**

> This one was a bit of a challenge for me to write and I’m sorry that it’s super late!
> 
> If you’d like to follow or check me out on other social media, I’m also gothamsharley on Twitter as well as bridgctregan and roisatiara on Instagram!


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